Vanity Plates and Bumper Sticker Rant 2-04-11

So, I've been thinking, (I know, what a concept :-) what could be one of the most dangerous distractions on the highway today. Hmmmm, could it be cell phones? No I don't think so. Could it be women applying makeup? Nah! How about Mr. Super-Ego reading a report? Not likely! I know, the drunken driver, what could be more distracting or dangerous...But, have you ever considered the DREADED vanity plate or the UNREADABLE bumper sticker?? Oh yes, these benign looking items appear harmless on the surface, but how many times have you found yourself inching closer to the car ahead of you trying to read a bumper sticker, or understand the warped logic of a vanity plate??

It would't be so bad if these nano-brains used the proper "size to space ratio" to print a bumper sticker large enough to read, rather than the format of small lines on an eye chart. It would also be nice if they could use their immense dispoable income (these things aren't cheap) to order a vanity plate that didn't need a cryptologist to decipher it!

I don't know what attracts me to these imbecilic quotes like a moth to a flame. Why should I care if your bumper sticker says "Lost Cat? Look Under My Tires" or "Driver Carries No Cash- He's Married". What difference does it make if I understand your "H8MEAT" or 2DUM2NO" vanity plate?  Why do I care, because they FRUSTRATE THE HELL OUT OF ME when I can't read them...Don't laugh, you know these cro-magnon examples of self expression have the same effect on most of you!

I wonder how many rear end accidents were caused this way? By us inching up to read and understand  these ridiculously unimportant messages of vanity, when suddenly the brake lights came on!! OUCH!

I wonder if they keep statistics on this cause of rear end accidents, Does it go in the report I wonder? 

Sorry officer, I was talking on my cell phone ;-)    Wouldn't you?

I have included a few samples for your amusement, and how would you interpret this vanity plate? "GRLSRUS" Girls are Us, Grills are Us, how about Gorillas??

I'm done