I bet you all thought I fell off the face of the earth! Some of you may have even been rejoicing. What an appropriate day for a rant...TAX DAY!!! AAAAHHHHH. (Sorry, I got lost!)
So what the hell has become of our personal space??? You remember that little zone around your body that people who don't know you wouldn't enter...(Kinda like an invisble dog fence...just sayin :)
I've noticed more and more that the hapless souls around you feel the more they crowd you the faster the lines will move! I had one MANNEQUIN get so close to me in a line this morning I was going to ask to see the wedding ring!!
I mean really have you noticed, how you are crowded in bank, supermarket, and coffee lines? I don't even want to mention amusment parks, zoo's, airline security lines, and my favorite...THE DMV! And have you ever tried to buy tickets at a sporting event or even ice cream at at carryout window? (they should play striptease music with all the bumping and grinding going on) I am sure you have all had you instances of these HUMAN GNOME FAILURES crowding you.
Hey, don't get me wrong, there are some instances where the crowding would be acceptable, but that's another Rant :) However, most of the time the people crowding you could use a bath, clean clothes, and improved dental hygiene.
Look here is a great rule of thumb...I don't want to smell your BO, cigarette breath, after shave, or be able to identify what brand of curry you ate for lunch. If your cultural beliefs, personal beliefs, or just plain laziness, prevents you from changing clothes, using deodorant, brushing your teeth, or combing the lice out of your hair...STAY AT A SAFE DISTANCE! IF YOU CAN READ THE SMALL PRINT ON MY JEANS LOGO, YOUR TOO DAMN CLOSE!
Oh yea, and while were at it...I don't want to see your pound cake stomach hanging over the ill fitting shorts the don't cover the crack of your A*%, or your nasty disgusting non-maintained feet hanging over the HELLO KITTY flip flops you procured from your daughter!
AND ANOTHER THING! I don't want to listen to your music, read your email, or listen to last night's experience! (which gave me a vision of two african hippo's) Keep your phone conversations to your self!!!!
The BOTTOM LINE is; IF I CAN HEAR YOUR BUSINESS, YOU CAN HEAR MINE! STAY THE HELL BACK!
There is a reason the gene pool has become refined over the years, and today I experienced it!!
I'M DONE!
