"SOAP VS BODY WASH" RANT 12-19-11

Well today I am returning to the root purpose of this "Rant" blog. My last two political Rant's met with spirited discussion on both sides of the ball. You must be close to center when you can inspire both sides to comment. There were some excellent points made, and I respect all the comments. With that said let's move on.:)

I am sure that "SOAP VS BODY WASH" is not a question everyone ponders in the morning, but after my experience, maybe we should.

I have come to the conclusion that "BODY WASH" is a "DIABOLIC" product invented just to piss us off! Follow me on THIS journey, I promise to keep it "CLEAN" (I know, but I couldn't resist)

I woke up on Sunday preparing to take my usual shower and keep my universe in sync, when I suddenly realized I was out of soap! Now, I have been using bars of soap since my earliest memories, I don't think I can remember a time when I was out of soap. (This is due to an amazing stocking job by my wife!) Today however, there is no soap to be found! Since I am partial to only two brands of the "LITTLE RECTANGULAR BARS OF CLEANER" I sensed a crisis arising!

I proceeded downstairs to see if my wife could direct me to some "EMERGENCY STASH" of the product, but NAY-NAY (to use John Pinnett's phraseology) there was none to be found. My wife then made the "EVIL" suggestion that I use "BODY WASH". That is when the fun began!

Now guys, if you are not familiar with "BODY WASH" pay close attention, you are about to be educated! My wife began to show me various bottles of these "POTIONS" that vary in consistency and fragrance (women's of course) from "COCONUT" to COCOA BUTTER! My vision was that of projecting the fragrance of a member of the opposite sex all day! I was not looking forward to this.

I then found out my son uses "BODY WASH" (fragranced for men, natuarally.) and his isn't cheap! Over $3.00 a bottle! WHAT THE HELL! I know that the soap I use is not over $3.00 a bar! Oh I forgot, my son's is also a SHAMPOO! I don't know about you, but I find "MULTI-PURPOSE" products very dubious.  I am also now wondering how much we spend on "BODY WASH.. hhhmmm

Well finally I find one of these "ALIEN MIXTURES" I can live with, and head to the shower. Well little did I know that finding some was just the begining! My first problem was with coordination. Now, when you are using soap, as long as you hold the bar of "SOAP" you have a uninterrupted supply of cleaner :) Simple concept huh? As long as you do not drop it, your showering experience flows smoothly! NOT WITH BODY WASH! First you need to squeeze this "MIXTURE" that has the  consistency of  JOHN CARPENER'S "THE BLOB" from the bottle. This needs to happen continuously, as there is never enough in your hands. Now I don't know about you, but I don't need to be pounding and squeezing a bottle like it was ketchup, so I can get clean! Then this "GOO" never  lathers up!!  I found it extremely labor intensive. Sorry, I don't get in the shower to work. It reminded me of those little bars of soap you get at a hotel THAT NEVER SEEM TO LATHER!

Finally, after what seemed like working an 8 hour day I was finished, or so I thought. Here is the really "DIABOLICALLY DEADLY" part. All the lather you didn't think you were getting while showering, had silently, and invisibly, accumulated on the bottom of the tub! When I went to get out of the shower I slid from back to front like TOM CRUISE on the wood floor in "RISKY BUSINESS", but trust me, it did not look as graceful or as smooth :) After righting myself I did manage to escape with nothing broken but my dignity.


So here is my advice. If you are like me and have a "HARMONIOUS" morning routine and are used to bars of "SOAP", then run out and buy as much of your "FAVORITE PERSONAL CLEANER" as your bank account and storage capacity will permit. Buy it as though the world as you know it was coming to end tomorrow. Do anything to avoid using the "COLD WAR LAB" invention called "BODY WASH"!

However, If you want a "FEAR FACTOR", and "RISKY BUSINESS" experience in your tub or shower...Then there is a product just daring you to use it..yes, once again, "BODY WASH"! :O

DAMN BODY WASH!

I'M DONE!

"DEJA-VU RANT 12-15-11

I can't belive it's the middle of December and we still have temps in the 50's! It's Great! OK, I'll move on.

I've been thinking about the adage, "The more things change, the more they remain the same" this has proven true many times recently, but one event has brought it home. The recent PEPPER SPRAYING of peacefully protesting students at the University of California-Davis Campus.

This incident, and many similar like it across the country, remind me of my teenage years in the 60's. (Yes, I am that old, no comments please) especially the killing's of students at Kent State (A University in Ohio) by National Guardsman.

This incident has served to remind me that not much has changed. We have still not learned to teach, or evaluate properly some of  the "OATMEAL-BRAINED", "EGO-CENTRIC", "KNUCKLE-DRAGGERS" we give guns or badges to. THESE "EVOLUTIONARY DEAD-ENDERS" give the excellent law enforcement officers a bad name. Their lack of common sense and their inability to assess a situation properly is amazing! Where were they trained at" COP-WANNABEE'S" on line?  Add to that the instructions by the "FIFEDOM'S QUEEN", sorry I mean college chancellor, to remove the students, and you have an impending disaster reminicent of the 60's

What I also find disturbing are the "CAVE-DWELLERS", and TREE-HANGERS" that laughed this off and told the students, and other "OCCUPIERS" to get a job! Do you "VACUUM BRAINS" understand that our students are the future of our country, as those of the 60's were and are? Also, If the "OCCUPIERS"were able to get jobs in their chosen fields, there would be no reason to protest. Maybe if they "OUTSOURCE" your "MOONSHINE" operation and steal money from your bank accounts you'll understand!

Here's another point CHUCKLES. If their rights are violated today, then yours could be tomorrow! Chew that with your tobacco!

What I also find curious, is that during the "MILLION MAN" march and "TEA-BAGGER"  (Opps, I mean Tea Party) protests there were no arrests, but yet they "PEPPER SPRAY" peacefully protesting students, while wearing "RIOT GEAR".  Megyn Kelly on FOX News said that it may have been "MORALLY"  wrong, but she didn't think it was illegal. REALLY!!!

As I said before, the more things change the more they remain the same. Today it's them, tomorrow it may be you...but wait it already is, whose money was used to bail-out corporate america after they caused the largest financial collapse in history? (for which NO ONE went to jail) And, whose jobs have been outsourced for the good of corporate profits and greed? In case you need a reminder YOUR'S!

 Do you really think this is just about students and occupiers? REALLY! While we may not agree with the protestor's views, we should at least respect their right to peacefully protest. After all, it's our right too.

I'M DONE!

"INTO THE BREACH ONCE MORE" RANT FOR 12-14-11

Good Day All,

Once again personal has taken priority over the blog, but hey, here I am.

I once again am going to touch the "HOT STOVE" we call politics. As many of you are, I am not a fan of the lack of promised progress this administration touted. I am not ashamed to admit I voted for Mr. Obama, I am just disappointed. However, where congress is concerned I am just &^%$#@! angry! These polictical versions of "SUCKER FISH" have made the problem a 1000% worse with their constant partisan bickering.

I have recently been looking at the right to see if there was a crumb to grab on to, but wouldn't you know it! These "PARASTICAL BACTERIA" continue to to talk out of their "REARS" and to insult our intelligence. This party that tout's tax breaks and fiscal conservatism, has once again shown that only applies if you are wealthy or part of corporate america. The snake has once again reared it's ugly head with a forked tongue!

After threatening to "SHUT DOWN" the government over the issue of expiring tax cut's for the rich. They have "ABRUPTLY" switched sides where "MIDDLE WORKING AMERICA" is concerned. They won't approve extending tax breaks for working america unless they get what they want, a MASSIVE oil pipeline project. Don't misunderstand me, I am not wholly against the pipeline, I am against holding the people who pay the bills in this country HOSTAGE, so corporate america can make profits. If Obama wants to make points he needs to grow some balls and literally tell these "MEDUSA" like congressmen to STICK IT!

Our government continues to ignore not only our own protests, but protests from around the world! People have had it! Start doing what is right for the country, not the "BOTTOM FEEDING LOBBYIST'S"

I'M DONE!