Recently, I observed what I consider a shining example of how far human intelligence has taken us. I had stopped at one of my favorite convenience stores to fill up my truck, and get coffee. This is where I must have entered an alternate universe, or the twilight zone where nothing is as it seems.
I pulled to the gas pump and filled my tank and then proceeded inside to pay for the fuel, and also to get coffee. Upon leaving the store I observed a shining example of why we should "THIN THE HERD"!
Now we all know, have been taught, or at least are vaguely aware of the potential dangers of smoking, or speaking on a cell phone while fueling! I am going to give one better....hang on it's coming! Don't be so impatient.
As I said, upon leaving the store I observed a prime example of why some animals "EAT THEIR YOUNG"! Directly across from me is what I can only describe as a "PRIMORDIAL THROWBACK" LEANING AGAINST THE GAS PUMP, WHILE SMOKING A CIGARETTE, AND TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE! now here is the good part! HIS ENGINE WAS RUNNING WHILE HE WAS PUMPING THE GAS!!!
Now don't get me wrong, I have my "BILL ENGVALL" moments, and should be given a sign.(If you don't know who Bill Engvall is Google is wonderful.) I also know some of us take a chance on cold mornings and leave our engines running while fueling, but honestly, temperatures here in Maryland have rarely been below 50 this fall and winter. Even if they were, how many of you would stand there, smoke, talk on your phone, and leave you engine running while gassing up??? If you raised your hand, please proceed to the nearest forest and put antlers on during deer season!
I began contemplating the odds of making it to my truck, (which was two pumps down) and getting out of there before the "IMPENDING FIREBALL" destroyed the whole damn block. I also had the urge to "SMACK THIS GUY IN THE HEAD"and "TAKE HIS PICTURE", but I didn't want to waste valuable escape time. I did feel a little bad while walking to my truck, because I didn't shout to the other people at the pumps, but they did seem to be moving a little faster than normal :)
What was really worrying me was the thought that this "HUMAN SEEDLING" had possibly bred! I also thought; If his home stove pilot light goes out, "DOES HE CHECK IT WITH A MATCH"?However, I really didn't think of it long, because I noticed I was "PEELING RUBBER" as I left the gas station, with an unusual amount of cars on my bumper.
I think I've made a good case for "THINNING THE HERD" and why this guy should be "FOOD FOR OTHER SPECIES"
I'M DONE!
