As the rain begins this morning, I thought I'd regale you with my RANT talent..(OK, let me know when you're done laughing)
At what point in our WORLD DOMINATING HUMAN INFESTATION of this planet did we start to model our lives on those of the FOLLOW THE LEADER, CLIFF JUMPING WILDEBEEST?
How did we go from INTELLIGENT, PROBLEM SOLVING, INNOVATING MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE to MIND-NUMBED, BABBLING, DROOLING PUPPETS, getting tangled in our own strings? When did we become so dependent on the BRAIN CELL SUCKING approval of our fellow WILDEBEESTS? When did we become so afraid that not following the HERD would make us SOCIAL OUTCASTS, that we would follow them into any INTELLIGENCE DRAINING VORTEX presented.
To get a sense of what I mean just envision the "HOMELESS VILLIAGES" that develop in front of an Apple store, when a new iProduct is released, eventhough that we know in a year it will be obsolete! Then there is the TRAMPLING and DEATHS of our fellow WILDEBEESTS at BLACK FRIDAYsales accross the country, just to aquire the LATEST TOY for little Amy or Johnny, when we know DAMN WELL they won't even play with it 3 months down the road.
And then in true TONGUE and TAIL WAGGING fashion, we rush to the store to buy the latest FASHION TRENDS created by the other WILDEBEESTS. We feed on being HUMAN MANIKINS, strutting proudly while displaying the MANUFACTURERS LOGO of an OVERPRICED, SWEAT SHOP produced item of POOR QUALITY. Does it strike anyone else as odd that we PAY to advertise a MANUFACTURERS PRODUCT?
Then while were STRUTTING around we jump on SOCIAL MEDIA because we just spent money for an overpriced SMART PHONE or TABLET. We retweet or share to SHOW OUTRAGE and SOLIDARITY for every SOCIAL CAUSE that our friends SPOUT, though we know nothing about them, because we do no research. But our WILDEBEEST friends say it so, so it must be true.
Then to continue our HERD FOLLOWING, we get OFFENDED when someone with common sense DOESN'T AGREE with, or CRITICIZES our DESIGNER CLOTHES WEARING, SMART PHONE CARRYING, EARBUD STUFFING asses for our poor behaviour.
Then we go home after a long day of trying to IMPRESS the other WIDEBEESTS and turn on our MEGA-TV's (I must admit I have one:). We are innundated with 20 minutes of commercials during every 1 hour show, trying to show us how we must need ADULT DIAPERS, TEETH WHITENERS, FEMINE HYGIENE PRODUCTS and my favorite; BIOLOGICS (medicines) for ailments you didn't even know you had (but hell you can look it up on WEB MD). Or, you can watch QVC selling you items you'll never use, but hell the other WILDEBEESTS have one! Maybe you'll enroll in one of the WEIGHT LOSS SCAMS that don't really work. The best part is that all these products are "HAWKED" by people who need them the least, but damn, they know what's best for the other WLDEBEESTS right?
Well FELLOW WILDEBEESTS, I could go on and on, but the fun must end somewhere. I hope I've given you a accurate analogy of our resemblence to the WILDEBEEST. Time to break off from the pack or...wait is that a CLIFF up there?
Watch that last step, it's a LULU! Hey, is that your TAIL WAGGING in my face?
Gotta run, time to feed the herd.
I'M DONE!
