Sunday, February 27, 2011

Acronym Rant 2-27-11

Ok, At what point did I wake up in a texting nightmare! Did I not get the memo that the english language was being reduced to acronyms to accomodate those that failed english 101?

Now don't get me wrong, if you read my rants you know I make spelling mistakes, (poor proof reading) and my punctuation is like nails on a chalkboard. (especially to my wife) But really, WIH, OMG, WTH is going on, have we lost all control of our language? I spend a good portion of my reading time trying to figure out WTH people are trying to say!

I am continually deluged with CEO, CFO,COO, and recently LOTO, (bet you don't know that last one :) and many others, and when you combine the acronyms with the sophmoric license plates it makes me LMM.

I am soooo tired of seeing LOL, LMAO, ROTGLMAO, and KMA. The daily use of these kindergarten assaults on our speech is bad enough, but it's usage in the business community, is just as bad, with acronyms like BI, BMP, CMP, KPI, OLAP and OLTP, making it more difficult to identify what is acceptable in a business communication. What MBA (moronic business administrator) came up with this cutsey idea, or has our time become so precious that we can't even have a full sentence conversation?

Maybe I'm just GO, but I don't want to have go through everyday life using military code breaking skills to decipher conversations! Do you think any of our kids know how to write an essay without acronyms, or better yet do you think thay can still spell the words?

Help, EIE, I think MMIG

ID!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Plight Of The Christmas Tree- Rant For 2-24-11

After the last few serious rants regarding news and politics, (UGH) my head hurts. So, I am returning to the mindless moronic rants that I love so well :-)

I have been observing a social (un-scientific of course) experiment I like to call the "Plight of the Christmas Tree". You might well ask, Christmas tree? It's February! I have been observing the trials and tribulations of this tree since it left my neighbors trash just after New Years Day and began it's trek through the neighborhood.

By now you must be completely fascinated by the fate of this tree, or wondering at what point I started eating the mushrooms ;-) You could at least hold judgement until the end!

You all may remember one of my first rants was in reference to other peoples recycling ending up in my yard, due to the short sightedness of many in our development to recognize that plastic bottles do not stay in place in a 30MPH wind. Apparently, this particular neighbor thought his discarded Christmas tree would fare better. NOT! Sorry, on with the saga.

Just after New Year's, as many neighborhoods have, it came time for the day to put out the discarded Christmas Trees for collection. Me, being a lazy man, and trying to justify my green stance by not "slaughtering" a live tree, (see how noble I am) did not have a tree to discard, as we have an artificial tree.

So imagine my curiousity when returning from work in the evening I saw a tree on my next door neighbors lawn. I was curious because this house is for sale and no one lives there. I did however recognize the tree as being the one that was discarded by the neighbor across the street.. This is when the experiment began.

I felt surely that this neighbor would see that the tree he so carefully dressed for Christmas, had escaped it's fate, and would retrieve it! Oh contrare, this was not to be. From that point forward I have watched this tree on it's journey from house to house, hoping someone one would end it's lonely existence, but this has not happened. All the while this tree has been visible to, and ignored by, the very house where it's journey began. 

My experiment is now almost to the end, for you see this tree is now nestled directly in front of the gate  beside my house, effectively making it MY PROBLEM! Since the cold-hearted discourteous slob has a plain view of "his tree" you would think he would take care of it, but we all know that will not happen. His view is that once it left his property it was no longer his responsibility.

 I am considering extending the experiment by replacing it on his lawn from whence it's journey began. (Interesting thought, huh?) It would probably end with him putting it back on my lawn, because he has long ago disavowed any knowledge of it's actions!  It's probably better I just put the poor thing out of it's misery.

Anybody want a tree? It needs a good home!


I'm Done!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

What The Hell! Rant For 2-23-11

Forgive my absence for a few days, I am doing two jobs at work and there is not enough hours in the day. But I am grateful for my employment.

Again, I seem to be drawn to a political rant..will I never learn :-O

This one could stir some comment :-)

Let me say up front that I am not a big fan of Unions. (Strange, considering I grew up in very blue collar Philadelphia) My experience with them over the years as an employee, and employer has not been positive.

With that said, I still think we need to give unions their due. They helped build this country at a time when employees were poorly compensated, terribly treated, and then discarded. The labor unions strides in improving workers safety, wages, and job security at a crucial time in our history must be admired.

In spite of what your views are, the maniac governor of Wisconsin has crossed the line! His continuing attempt at union busting is so blatantly politically motivated, it's insulting. I have no doubt that Wisconsin is broke, as is California, and many other states, but blaming the unions collective bargaining agreement for the problem is assine! I truly believe that some pensions and health care benefits are not sustainable and must be adjusted, but his attack on unions is so self serving and pompous, the people of Wisconsin need to put a stop to it.

Here's the scenario, we know where most donations come from for both parties. We know the unions mostly donate to the democrats, and the large business like Koch Industries (more on them later) donate to the republicans. Sleazy Scott knows that if he "busts" the unions, he not only fills a republican party dream, but he also severely damages one of the main sources of donations to the democratic party. How transparent.

If he is really interested in just making Wisconsin solvent, he wouldn't have given his wealthy supporters a $150,000,000.00 in tax breaks, while trying to take that $150,000,000.00 back from the middle class. Remember my earlier mention of Koch industries? My understanding is that this is Wisconsin's largest energy supplier, and a provision of the budget proposed by Sleazy Scott would open Wisconsin's power plants up for purchase with no bids. HHmmm..Who do you think the buyer could be??

And in a final twist, this reptile showed his true colors and motivation when he thought he was speaking to one of the Koch brothers, (who not surprisingly was one his largest campaign contributors) and spoke of nailing the B@##$$&! The caller was actually a radio reporter! Unbelievable!

As many of you know from earlier rants, I now consider myself an independent and this is one of the reasons why. I do believe there are many "entitlements" that we need to look at as far as cost cutting, but I also believe we need to look at "defense" as well as other areas.

What I truly find disgusting is the constant attack on worker benefits. Somehow the right has manged to "redirect" the blame for the financial crisis from the "Wall Street Thieves" to "Main Street Benefits". Doesn't it strike you has odd that no one from any wall street firm has gone to jail, or been prosecuted for their role in our country's financial collapse? They not only avoided prosecution, but received government bailout money, and today it's business as usual!

So to Scott Walker I'd say don't get too comfortable in the governors chair. I don't think you'll be there long!

You should read the story for the full effect!



I'm Done!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sad Rant 2-20-11

Enough is Enough! I have really had with the "tribal" mentality that some "immigrants" are bringing to this country.

let me explain. In Glendale, Ariz an Iraqi man is on trial for the "honor killing" of his 20 year old daughter and the attempted murder of a former family friend. His reason? His daughter moved from the family home and in with her boyfriend. In this maniac's eyes(and many like him) this disgraced his family. He was so enraged that he ran over this beautiful young woman and her friend with his Jeep!

This selfish SOB with the brain of a sun-dried raisin and the beliefs of a 1st century nomad, supposedly felt so shamed he had to crush the 2 women with a 4,000lb vehicle. His defense attorney say he just lost it, that he didn't intend to kill! If so why did he call his family ( who advised him to run, he was arrested in London) rather than the police while his daughter lay dying on the ground!

He stated when interviewed that Iraq is a "tribal society, and cannot change". Well, here's some advice to all you sand-worms, STAY OUT OF THE US! We are not a tribal society! We don't believe in murdering our children to preserve the beliefs of the Mummy's. I find it ridiculous that you refugees from the worlds biggest sandbox say you are coming here for a better life, and then bring this archaic crap with you!

We are tired of pressing #1 for english, trying to understand your gibberish when placing an order with you, and accomodating your dress( anyone with their face covered in this country is considered a robber) and prayer codes in our workplace. Our businesses should not have to accomodate you. If you can't work by the employers rules TOO BAD! Oh yea, and we're not giving you your wife's paycheck, IT'S HERS! Stop trying to force your culture on us. This country was built on Judeo-Christian principals and we like it that way!

We will tolerate your beliefs, but we won't bow down to them! If you don't like it GET OUT!

This maniac goat-herder in Glendale not only needs the death penalty, he should not be put to death humanely. He should be staked out in the desert for the buzzards to feed off of. After all, isn't that what an archaic "tribal society" would do?

Here's a link to the story.

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2011-2-10/news/news/

I'm Done!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Scams Versus Insensitivity Rant 2-17-11

I've decided to do a double barrel rant today, you can decide which is more disheartening.

Item #1- SCAMS, How many times do low-life scammers need to attempt to use the same scam before they realize you're on to it? The only thing that is scarier, is to think some of us may have the memory of a goldfish, and be suckered by one of these bottom feeding scavengers.

Case in point; Within the last year I've received email from two friends that were stranded in London, (this may have happened to you.) and needed money wired to get home. The ironic part is that I had just spoken to these friends in the preceeding 24 hours. (was it something I said?) Talk about repetition!

Case #2; About 3 months ago I got an email from a lawyer that a distant relative in Europe had died and I was one of the heirs..Can you spell delete? Here's the kicker! I received a text from one of my son's, telling me he received an email from a lawyer informing him of my death, and that I had left him 14 million dollars..How sad, if I knew I was dead I would have stayed in bed. As for the 14 million dollars, dream on, I would have definitely spent it leaving my kids with any left over expenses. :-)

Case #3- What about the seemingly pathetic "Street Corner Beggars" How do you know which ones are legit, and which of these conscienceless actors, has a better home, and drives a better car than you! Yet we continue to throw money at these thieves because they make us feel guilty!

I really am tired of these parasites of society attempting to stck their hands in my pocket, sort of like the government...Ok on to the next item.

Item #2- INSENSITIVITY, I don't know about you, but I don't really like to kick someone when their down or disgraced. It just doesn't seem right. So it seems even more sleazy when a low life media outlet does it for ratings.

Case in point; Ruth Madoff the 67 year old wife of pariah Bernie Madoff. Whether or not you believe she knew of her husbands actions are immaterial. (my research shows that most women in that income bracket are society matrons, and pay no attention to their husband's business) Tonight on "Inside Edition" these "expose" wannabe fluff reporters, showed the insensitivity of a stripper at a bible study class, when they had a hidden camera in the grocery store filming Ruth buying vegetables. They even went so far as to point out how wrong it was that she munched on a green bean while shopping! Remember, this woman not only found she had a scum-bag thief for a husband, she also lost everthing dear to her, and to finish it off, one of her son's committed suicide because of the shame! Isn't that enough? Get a life you acting school dropouts! If it wasn't for your cosmetic surgery, capped teeth and two inches of make-up, you wouldn't even have a job! Don't tell me you hypocritcal advertisments for liposuction have never mucned on anything while you were shopping. Unreal! Just when I felt so sleazed and slicked that I needed a shower, they began their next "news" item. See below!

Case #2- Amanda Knox, as many of you are aware, is an attractive college student who was convicted of the murder of her british roomate in Italy. (on dubious evidence I might add) Now once again, it doesn't matter if you believe in her guilt or innocence, but the ghouls at the "Lifetime" network have decided it was great material for a movie. I believe there is only on catch, the girl is still fighting for her freedom and has just been granted an appeal! Hey teflon brains, does nothing stick to your ratings craving neurons? Did it even occur to you that your twisted interpretation of this event could negatively impact this girls fight for freedom? Probably not. Why would Hayden Panattiere take on this role? Does she have no sensitivity to this girls plight?? Oh, I'm sorry I forgot about the artistic motivation..MONEY!

The cases I've illustrated of scams and insensitivty, have only increased my disdain, mistrust, and disgust of the people and media outlets that prey on us. When you add this to the theft and deception perpetrated by our financial and government institutions, we should be very concerned and afraid.

WAKE UP PEOPLE!

I'm Done!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Disturbing Rant for 2-15-11

As happens so often I had a planned rant for today until once again an event changed my mind..

This one really angers and disturbs me and it should you.

A CBS reporter covering Egypt for 60 minutes became the story. The fact that Laura Logan became the story is not the disturbing part, it's the blog responses that anger me!

Let's start by saying that Laura and her news crew were assaulted in Cairo,(not the first time either) they became separated, and Laura was trapped by a frenzied mob, which resulted in her being beaten and sexually assaulted. Some may say that since Laura is an attractive blonde covering a story in a middle eastern country, the likelihood of this happening was inevitable. If it had not been for about 20 women and the Egyptian army coming to her rescue the results could have been catastrophic.

The worrisome part are the responses by the "sick, mentally depraved" bloggers in this country. There were those that said she deserved it for being a blonde woman "flaunting" in front of muslim men (just a note; there are a lot of christians in Egypt also). Hey, Abdul, you want to think that way, return to your mud hut and do whatever you do with your camel! Others brought up her past which said she had an affair with a married man. What the hell difference does that make jello-brain ? These were some of the tamer comments, and I won't regale you with some of the others. Don't get me wrong there were some very supportive comments, and those people have my thanks and respect.

To the one brain-celled wacko's out there who hide behind these blogs I say, how would you feel if this happened to your wife or mother, or do you perverted SOB's fantasize about that! To the loser camel jockey's who still hold on to the belief that women are sub-human and are to be owned I say, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE U.S. and return to the nothing that you had! You give all the law-abiding middle eastern peoples that come here a bad name. Tell me how someone can pray five times a day and still believe it is ok to murder, maime and rape?

I am truly disappointed by the political correctness BS, that keeps us from sending these sand-flea's home in a row boat. I was thinking of apologizing if I offended anyone, but that would put me in the "politically correct" category so forget that! The crazy knuckle-draggers are the ones that should apologize.

I'm Done!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

More Green Rant 2-13-11

Ok people do we really have the decision making skills of a jellyfish? We need to decide if we want green products or not.

Case in point, the now discontinued "SunChips" bag. The reason this ecologically friendly bag was discontinued...IT WAS TOO NOISY! Yes too noisy. I guess people couldn't hear the "Dukes of Hazzard" or "He-Haw" reruns over the noise when they were handling the bag. REALLY!!

Let me ask you evolutionary dead-ends a few questions. (Let me put a disclaimer here. These questions are not targeted to any specific person or group, but if you feel a twinge of guilt, good, and too bad!)

Is the bag louder than your mouth-breathing crunch of chewing the chips? How about louder than the slurping sound you make with the straw of that ginormous Big Gulp? Hey, how about louder than the illegal dirt bike you ride on other peoples property? Is it louder than the basketball you dribble out side your neighbors house at midnight? And finally, is it louder than the ridiculous car stereo that vibrates every window in the neighborhood? My guess is NOT!

Grow up people and stop whining, even when people try to do something good, you IQ challenged misfits complain! How about this for a solution? Don't stuff your black hole of a mouth with a whole bag of chips at one sitting! Unique concept huh? Better yet, stick your head back up where it came from.

As final note, I would only add that if you are trying to appear morally superior, don't test your smoke alarm by burning hot dogs on your stove while writing your blog..DUH! Where's my sign :-)

I'm Done

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Green Rant for 2-12-11

Sorry, I didn't do a rant yesterday because I actually had to do work this week! (doesn't that suck?) Anyway, I feel asleep.

So let's start today with a look at the green picture :-p

Not only do we have to worry about losing jobs, but it appears that the border belly-crawlers do to! The main source of employment for our clandestine visitors has found a new cheaper source of labor! Yes, I am talking about the booming landscape industry! This pillar of the american economy is now on the threshold of sweeping changes which could ripple through, and cause disruptions to the very fibre of our economy!

Who is secretly stealing the jobs that americans seemingly don't want to do, and that the illegal pest invaders from the south see as their dream?? After our economy has been so devastated, what apocolyptic force could deliver the death knell???... GOATS! Why are you laughing, this is serious stuff! Yes, I said goats!

Apparently there is a landscaper who is using goats and will not be content until the entire industry is using this cheap source of labor. Goat crap is even supposed to be a good fertilizer. I guess you could have your lawn mowed and fertilized at the same time:-) Look out Chem-Lawn and Scotts, they're coming after you. The smaller companies won't even have a chance. The illegals should be very afraid. One goat landscaper even has a government contract to do a nuclear sub base!

Are you kidding me! In theory this may be a good idea but once the tequila wears off, it has to be a dubious proposition at best. The cost of feeding and trasporting to a job site would have to be prohibitive, but I guess if one died you could just eat  it, and hey, you could have goat's milk and cheese.

Again, I can't stop laughing :-) I have a friend that raises goats in another state, and I think I'll forward this to him. Maybe it will give him another source of income hhmm. He'll either get a good laugh or won't talk to me again. He tells me raising goats is expensive, but hell, true love ain't cheap! LOL

You have to watch the video from "The Colbert Report" The link is attached below.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/362220/october-14-2010/people-who-are-destroying-america---landscaping-goats

I'm Done

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Another Marketing Rant 2-10-11

So can anyone tell me at what point retailers sat us down in front of the spinning color wheel and hypnotized us?

What I mean is, when did we buy in to not only advertise for clothing retailers, but to pay for the privilege. These mindfreak purveyors of overpriced, sweatshop produced clothing, have convinced us that wearing pants, shirts, hoodies, and hats with their company name emblazoned on them is so necessary to our "cool",  that we should pay for the right. Are we insane, or are these brainwashing snake oil salespeople that much smarter than us?

Does anyone remember when you purchased a designer item, that it only had a small patch or logo on a pocket? (how about the girls with their Jordache!)Now our robotic programmed children screech at us if they don't have the latest "Aeropostle", "PacSun", "Hollister" or whatever the clothing flavor of the day is. Hell they even have "Red Bull" and "Monster" clothing lines! I won't mention "Land's End" or "Columbia" we all know they just aren"t cool enough. (just warm :-) Can I ask, what the hell are skinny jeans? Sorry, that's a whole other rant!

I am so tired of being a walking graffitti board, (except for the "Made in the USA" label on my jeans from "American Clothing Co") that I try to find items with as little "tagging" as possible. (good luck with that!)

At what point do we stop being walking zombies of advertising for the voodo princes of the garment industry ? At what point do we stop filling the pockets of these enablers of slave labor? And Oh Yea, enough with the freaking baggy pants, I don't want to see anyone else's drawers!

Hey, let's tell the kids to stop screeching at us, and really, do we have to wait for them while they shop at these places?


I'm Done

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Rat Maze Rant 2-09-11

One of the most frustrating things I find is the "Rat Maze" effect created by retail stores.

What do I mean by "Rat Maze"? How many times have you walked in to a store that you have been to a thousand times, walked right to where you know something is, only to find it's no longer there?

What evil marketing denizen of the dark, came up with this diabolical master plan?  The srtategy is obviously to get you to to wander through store so you will buy more impluse items. How about this brainiacs, I shop at the same store locations because I know the planogram! If I am in a hurry I come in, buy what I need and get out! I don't want to go to my favorite office supply store to buy pens for my employee's, only to find that instead of being in front of the store, they are now in the back in the opposite corner. The same thing applies to my favorite grocery store. If I come in to buy something quick for dinner, I don't want it to turn into a 2hr shopping trip!

Stop trying to mess with with our heads and increase our time in your store. It doesn't do anything but make us shop somewhere else. We don't need to be manipulated and have our intelligence insulted purely for you profit.

Do I need to tell you what you can do with your ivy league buisness degree? I resent being treated like "sheeple"


I'm Done

Monday, February 7, 2011

You Can't Make This Up Rant 2-07-11

OK admittedly I didn't read the whole story because I was laughing to hard...

Our society is teetering on the edge of the ludicrous and ridiculous :-) This morning traffic and court business was brought to a complete standstill in Towson, MD because of...wait for it....a TOILET!

Yes, boys and girls a toilet! This toilet had a cell phone taped to it and was reported as a "suspicious object" sitting outside the county courthouse..This "suspicious object" had police and firefighters tied up for most of the day. The street did not open until early afternoon. How long does it take to identify a toilet??

C'mon really, did this oatmeal brained terrorist wanna-be really carry a toilet through downtown Towson with no one noticing? AMAZING! I think it would have been more effective if someone had been sitting on it, because after all Towson is the "COUNTY SEAT" and we all know that politician's are "FULL OF CRAP".

All right, it's time to "FLUSH" this rant..(Sorry, I couldn't help it) Visual below.


I'm Done.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bloodsuckers Rant For 2-06-11

Talk about over the top. How many ambulance chasing, bloodsucking attorney ads are needed on TV?

These vampires want you to believe that everything that goes wrong in your life is somebody else's fault and they are there to make it right! Don't believe it, these pocket-wringing con-men wouldn't help you if you were falling off a cliff, unless there was a buck in it. The outrageous fees these people charge are usually more than any settlement their clients receive. Hell, most of them didn't even pass the bar until their 3rd try.

I am tired of hearing that my headaches are caused by medical malpractice, that my upset stomach is caused by poor quality medication, and that the beef mix that Taco Bell serves is not a 100% beef! Surprise, if you are expecting 100% beef from a $.79 taco then I have land in the middle of the Chesapeake for sale.

What's the saying about lawyers? I would quote it but some "politically correct" moron would say I am advocating violence.

I'm Done

Friday, February 4, 2011

Vanity Plates and Bumper Sticker Rant 2-04-11

So, I've been thinking, (I know, what a concept :-) what could be one of the most dangerous distractions on the highway today. Hmmmm, could it be cell phones? No I don't think so. Could it be women applying makeup? Nah! How about Mr. Super-Ego reading a report? Not likely! I know, the drunken driver, what could be more distracting or dangerous...But, have you ever considered the DREADED vanity plate or the UNREADABLE bumper sticker?? Oh yes, these benign looking items appear harmless on the surface, but how many times have you found yourself inching closer to the car ahead of you trying to read a bumper sticker, or understand the warped logic of a vanity plate??

It would't be so bad if these nano-brains used the proper "size to space ratio" to print a bumper sticker large enough to read, rather than the format of small lines on an eye chart. It would also be nice if they could use their immense dispoable income (these things aren't cheap) to order a vanity plate that didn't need a cryptologist to decipher it!

I don't know what attracts me to these imbecilic quotes like a moth to a flame. Why should I care if your bumper sticker says "Lost Cat? Look Under My Tires" or "Driver Carries No Cash- He's Married". What difference does it make if I understand your "H8MEAT" or 2DUM2NO" vanity plate?  Why do I care, because they FRUSTRATE THE HELL OUT OF ME when I can't read them...Don't laugh, you know these cro-magnon examples of self expression have the same effect on most of you!

I wonder how many rear end accidents were caused this way? By us inching up to read and understand  these ridiculously unimportant messages of vanity, when suddenly the brake lights came on!! OUCH!

I wonder if they keep statistics on this cause of rear end accidents, Does it go in the report I wonder? 

Sorry officer, I was talking on my cell phone ;-)    Wouldn't you?

I have included a few samples for your amusement, and how would you interpret this vanity plate? "GRLSRUS" Girls are Us, Grills are Us, how about Gorillas??




I'm done

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Packaging Rant for 2-3-11

Ok, I admit it, I am probably not smarter than a 5th grader, but I'll bet most of you aren't either :-)

What sado-masochist invented @#$%& blister packaging??? This rubik's cube of product covering has been driving us over the edge for years...and is it me, or is it getting worse!

Have you tried opening the internal bag in a box of cereal, or how about a bag of potato chips? It's a freaking conspiracy! How come the only one that can open a child proof cap is a CHILD!

From the wrappings on a block of chedder cheese, and CD's, to the blister packs on cold tablets,  and Christmas toys, we are slowly being driven insane!! Whose behind it, what evil mastermind has targeted us for such torture? We need to know who could do such a thing? We need to think of the future of our children...and, oh wait.

Sorry, you need to disregard this rant, I was just reminded I work in the food packaging industry...Whoops my bad  :O

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Rant For 2-02-11

I had a whole different rant planned for today, but sometimes fate steps in and give you the material. A couple of things happened today that just served to remind me how ridiculously rude we have become. The ape like behaviour of these two "mensa" candidates, has prompted me to give them a "Chimp In Excellence" award. I am even attaching a photo of the award. I think we should all congratulate these two "poop throwers" for their overachievment in rudeness. I am humbled to have come in contact with these evolutionary misfits. Now on with their incredible stories...

Item #1- Since I am on "son to school" transportation duty this week, we leave a little earlier in the morning so we can beat the traffic. One of the things that I like to do is stop at the McDonald's across the parking lot from his school for us to have breakfast. It gives us a minute to talk.

We are in line waiting to place our order when a man with the speed of Superman and obviously at death's door from hunger decides an egg McMuffin is the only thing that can possibly save him. Waiting in line is just not an option. He literally bumped me out of the way! When I comment to my son (loud enough for the obviously dying man to hear) that "excuse me" would have been nice, this chimp award reciepient promptly grabs his food and is gone in a flash, completely ignoring me. I am however glad he was saved.. Well done!

Item #1 was just a warm up.

Item#2- After having lunch today, as is my usual custom, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for my usual extra-large decaf. Anyone that knows me is aware that I drink a gallon of coffee a day. (hence the decaf) Well, the drive thru is unusually busy today, so there was a waiting line. After waiting patiently for my turn (yes I am patient once in awhile :), I placed my order and moved forward as much as I could. Suddenly I hear this blaring horn behind me and when I turn to see what is wrong, chimp award receipient number 2 is screaming at me to move forward so he can place his order. Well, as in the previous case, this chimp groomer is either dying of hunger and only a box of munchkins can save him, or  he is afraid they are going to run out of sprinkled donuts. In any case, I couldn't move forward as there was a car less than a foot in front me. I don't know where he thought he was going to go once he placed his order because there was 4 cars ahead of us..Did he think a car-hop was going to come out the back door and deliver his order?  But even with all of this I am still glad he was saved. It makes me proud to give him this award.

So without further ado..I herby give this "Chimp in Excellence"  award to poop thrower and chimp groomer...They should be so proud! Lets all of reflect on the behaviour of these receipients, and the inspiration and example they provide.




I'm done!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Rant For 2-01-11

Where to begin...

Today's rant is once again inspired by a conversation with a colleague. We were discussing jobs and how little manufacturing we do in this country.(You may remember my rant of 1-27 scratching the surface of this issue)

We began discussing the flood of inferior foreign imports that plague our country, when my colleague suggested I check my local supermarket to see just how pervasive these imports have become.

What I found was unbelievable! (Again, I must be slow!) Are the brains of all americans in a cryogenic state? Why would we need to #$@@$# import food??? Need proof? Start looking at labels in the grocery store, it's like having cold water thrown in your face.

Have we become such a "Jabba the Hud" society that we can no longer feed ourselves? Is it truly so much cheaper to import food than to grow it ourselves? I find that nauseating! What mind-control genius sold us this bill of goods! Oh that's right, we bought in to the utopion program called NAFTA! The program that was supposed to open up foreign markets to american products and increase our prosperity. What a joke! The only people that prospered were those who had stock in companies that had moved their manufacturing overseas. Oh Yea, and the nation's most organized flea market of foreign goods, WALMART!

If we don't get off our video-gaming butts and start making something we are going to be doing laundry for China and India. Think long and hard what you want for your children.

I have thought of another acronym for NAFTA..but unfortunately I can't spell it out without offending people.


I'm done