In 2011 I RANTED about a disturbing obscene "PLANT" that appeared on my lawn. This ALIEN MONSTROSITY had been obviously sent here to spy on us, and chose it's form to match how we describe each other. It left as mysteriously as it appeared. I believe it must have gathered the necessary information. Below is my SURVEILLANCE photo
Well, a new threat has appeared. This one looks more like a MUSHROOM, but I'm not buying it. This is either the 2nd wave of an ALIEN INVASION or...It's part of a SECRET GOVERNMENT PROJECT designed to turn us all in MUSH MINDED ZOMBIES! Oh sorry, the GOVERNMENT has already done that. It LANDED almost in the same spot as the 2011 INCIDENT....Hmmm curious.
What does this solitary CREATURE want, what is it's DEVILISH purpose. Is it here to enslave our race, one MUSHROOM BURGER at a time? Will it top our STEAKS and INFILTRATE our SAUCES and GRAVIES, and (chills) HOW WOULD WE KNOW? The plot is too HORRIFYING to think about. As I watch I think I see MOVEMENT. I am right. IT'S OPENING!
I am frozen what should I do?? Do I call the EPA, the POLICE or...wait, I think I just saw a BLACK SUV with a RADAR disc on the top, and was that a guy in a HAZMAT SUIT??
My bad, just a chef looking for TOPPINGS. The hat confused me. Well, time to MOW, but I would be cautious the next time you buy FRESH MUSHROOMS at the store
I'M DONE!
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