"Against Myself" Rant for 2-06-12

Good Morning, (Oh hell not really!)

Have you ever had a day that you didn't even want to be around yourself, and when every little thing was going wrong?? I think they are "Linus or Charlie Brown" moments. I can't remember which and this morning I really don't care!

Let's start with yesterday morning when my wife woke me up to inform me of the unceremonious death of our water heater! It wasn't even light out yet!

I was pretty impressed with myself when I arranged to have a service crew out by 8:30am. How was I to know that was my last "happy moment" of the day. After being informed by the service tech that our water heater was truly dead, and the "lottery winnings"(a slight exaggeration) needed to replace it, the fun began.

After contacting my son and asking him to install it. (I really appreciate him saying OK as opposed to laughing, and telling me where I could fly) I spent the next 8 unproductive hours researching the difference between "regular", "short", "medium", "tall", and custom size units as well as "glass", "ceramic", or "metal lined" tanks! I was waiting to see "animal skinned"! Oh yea , and I haven't even gotten to "single element", "double element" or "chimp riding a bike" power at 3800 watts or 4500 watts! Then there is "20amp, 30amp, and "candle power". The ultimate wild card however, is my wife's budget.

After many hours of searching and researching I finally found a suitable unit. I was once again feeling "the man power", but naturally the feeling didn't last when I found there was a two week wait for delivery. But as most intelligent "male chimps" I had a plan B and put it into action. What a happy chimp I was when it came together. I paid for the unit and arranged to pick it up today.

Well today is a new day and I am once again feeling "the power", but once again not so fast. I woke up early and decided to do some paperwork before picking up the new water heater. Well, when I fired up the computer I got the "Danger Will Robinson" blue screen. I apparently have some kind of issue. My mood is now starting to go south and I haven't even been up and hour...GGGRRR

I spent the next hour "Hunting Computer Gremlins" which I fortuitously learned to do many years ago. Fortunately I was able to re-index my hard drive and solve the problem. I then went to pick up the new life sustaining appliance. (If you have a family with a teenage child you know why a water heater is a life saving appliance :)

When I get to the store I am pleased to see I am the first one heading to "merchandise pick-up" until, while looking down at my phone (as most of we human robots do while walking) I walked straight into a closed, locked glass door! (this provided extreme amusement to the employee's standing inside) Apparently the store didn't open for another 10 min!

Well I am finally inside and less than 10 min later they bring out the shiny object that will restore order and harmony to my world! I am ready to go, but oh no, it's not that easy! When we go outside to load the shiny object, a UPS truck is not only blocking the door, but also my truck! Keep in mind I am the only vehicle in the "customer loading area" There are at least 6 SPOTS! Why block me???

After 20 minutes of waiting, this driver doing his best imitation of a "Government Employee", decides to come out. He then gets an attitude when the store employee asks him to move the truck! The store employee also reminds him that customers have priority over deliveries, and that he should be at the loading dock and not the door...GO EMPLOYEE!

Finally we get "The Holy Grail" loaded and I am on my way! By now, as any self respecting chimp would want, I just want to get back to my tree, but there is still one more obstacle to overcome on my quest!

I am about 30 feet away from the turn on my road when "LO and BEHOLD" a  "HUMAN DUMMY" with a stop sign attached has the road closed! I am now forced to drive 6 miles around and come in the back way to get home. Considering I was 30 ft away from the turn, I am "NOT HAPPY"!  I started jumping on the seat and waving my arms like a chimp protecting his territory!

Finally, I get back to my tree and I am safely inside..My mood is so horrendous I don't even want to look in the mirror! I think I am going back to bed and put a "Tarzan" movie on! Maybe "Cheetah" can calm me down. If you don't know who Tarzan and Cheetah are TO BAD!!!!

I'M DONE!!