Friday, May 22, 2015

THE "BUZZ" RANT 5-22-15

Some mornings it just sucks to be me. Oh, not because my life is bad, in fact I have many things to be thankful for, not the least least of which is my life.

No the sucks part comes from being a victim of the pranks my brain plays on me. Yea this walnut shaped gelatinous mass, sitting there atop my head encased in it's protective shell looking out over the world has been messing with me since the health scare last year. I guess it's pissed off from all the time it spent on drugs. So now this electrically charged ball of goo wants to play!

It all started with the demon dreams and the giant rodents..(Don't ask, that's for another rant!) Well lets move forward. Today I am sitting in my Dr's office minding my own business and bothering no one, when I feel a buzzing on my hip. Well I guess it's my phone and since I am at the Dr's I'll return the call later. Well a few minutes go by and it happens again. WTH! People know not to call me during appointments! Once again I decide to ignore it.

I guess the person who is calling must really want to talk to me because it happens again, buzz, buzz, buzz like an angry honey grubbing bee against my hip. So now I am frustrated and annoyed at whoever this persistent mongrel is. Soooooo.

I grab at my hip angrily for the phone, and lo and behold it's gone! WHAT, where is my phone????

You're going to love this...wait for it...I had the freakin' phone in my hand  the whole time playing Solitaire! Guess what my first question to the Dr was??

Boy, Is my brain in trouble!!! You know I think I can hear it laughing, that's not a good thing is it?





I'M DONE!!

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